10 Years Ago

My local moms group listserve has been busy with moms posting stories of the past decade in their lives. It has been interesting to read everyone's stories. I haven't contributed because, well, I'm feeling like everyone else has 1) gotten their master's degrees, 2) traveled to exotic locale, and 3) done a heck of a lot more with their lives than I have. Part of me, though, also thinks that some of the posts have been..ahem...a bit much.

I really wanted to post something like,

"10 years ago I was in prison, and a recovering meth addict. Thankfully, I met my husband, my then-prison guard, and we broke out of the joint. Now, under our assumed names and identities, we live an idyllic life of jet-setting adventure coupled with luxurious leisure, financed by our role in the Enron scandal. Thank God we got out of THAT before it fell apart. Our sons, who are already signed with professional football and baseball teams, walked at 4 months and are considered front-runners for various positions of world leadership. They are destined to be Nobel Prize winners, champion equestrians, brilliant musical prodigies and thoughtful, considerate, socially-conscious, environmentally-friendly, handsome, charming, kind and wonderful men who treat their wives with respect, are amazing fathers, and come home for every holiday."

Okay, I guess that could be considered, um, snarky. :) Well, I'm nothing if not sarcastic. In reality, I guess I would have posted this:

10 years ago, in late 1999, I had broken up with my college era boyfriend for the 3rd time. I finally realized it was not working and it never would. I was working in Reston for a high tech engineering firm. In retrospect, I was not very happy - I was overweight, un-ambitious, and obviously, in a bad relationship. My friends and I planned a Millennium party (which I selfishly dubbed the "Schmiellenium" party) in which we charged everyone, including ourselves, $50 to attend: we rented a tent and heaters, made mix tapes, had tons of drinks and food and party favors, a disco ball, and a TV outside to watch the world explode. My friend Jen, who lived at the house where the party was held, was dating Mike (her now husband). His roommate, a certain Greg Z., wasn't sure what he was doing for New Year's. I'd met him 2-3 times before and thought he was nice but didn't say much. Ha ha ha. During set up that day, Greg came with Mike and he said he still wasn't sure if he was going to drive up to New York to be with buddies or not. He decided to stay in D.C. Good thing. :) At the party, I basically avoided Greg, even though I was interested in talking at him some more. (yes, I said talking at him, he seemed amused by me. He still is, apparently). The party was awesome but at midnight I just tooted my horn. No kisses. No big deal. Greg and I both needed to just stay at the house overnight as we didn't need to drive. The house had two couches. We both claimed one and stayed up for a long time talking. I slept for maybe 2 hours. In the morning, Greg asked for my number. I told him I wasn't sure I was up for dating yet. And I figured later that he could get my # from Jen and Mike.

Anyway, long story way too long....we began dating a few weeks later, after a few hiccups along the way. 10 months later, Greg decided to move back to Atlanta, where he'd lived prior to D.C. and after college. We decided to just go with the flow - it was too soon for me to move to Atlanta but we weren't ready to get engaged.

Almost two YEARS later, after flying back and forth every 3 weeks, we got engaged. 7 weeks later, I moved to Atlanta (our wedding was planned for 8 months later back in D.C.). I got a job at a firm with amazing people (still, my favorite job EVER) doing marketing - crazy, micro-manager boss, but I learned SO much from her, joined my favorite a cappella group, and began volunteering with Theta at Emory University. We made very close friends, partied a lot, enjoyed life in a high rise midtown condo and lived it up as a couple of DINKs.

Then we decided to start a family. That took a while - about 9 months. It was a hard time wondering what the heck was going on - hard to be patient in that situation. But, it happened and it was a relatively easy pregnancy. That gets us through 2005.

2006 found us with a new job for Greg and a move back to the D.C. area. I cried when we left Atlanta even though I hadn't wanted to move there in the first place! It was very hard to leave my job, my friends, and my singing friends. But, better to be closer to families PLUS great job opportunities for Greg.

We moved into our house in Herndon about 3 weeks before James was born. I had an easy delivery but a tough time with post partum anxiety and depression. Realized I didn't know everything. Welcomed anti-depressants with open arms. Finally figured out parts of motherhood (I'm still figuring it out) and enjoyed my time as a stay at home mom with James, who never really experienced the Terrible 2s. 3s are going okay as well - he is a pretty even-tempered kid, for which I am extremely grateful.

When James was 17 months old, we thought we'd start trying again for #2. That took 1 month and voila, Nate was conceived. Tough being pregnant with a toddler, but, easier than I'm sure being pregnant with #3 will be! Nate arrived in July, pretty easy delivery after being 5 days late. Besides being a tough sleeper (and with parents who are NOT good sleep trainers) Nate has always been my cheerful, happy guy. Sometimes, he bites. We can't all be perfect.

When Nate was 6 weeks old, I told Greg I needed to go for a run. I needed to get out of the house, even though I figured I could only run 1-2 miles. I made it 20 minutes. I felt fat and disgusting but much happier. I continued on short runs all winter. By February, I was up to 6 miles. I'd found some running blogs and was inspired to sign up for a 1/2 marathon in late May. And I did it, just over 2 hours.

Two months later, I realized something I'd been afraid to say out loud: I wanted to run a marathon. I never, even in my very fit days post-wedding, thought I could do it. Was it motherhood that made me realize I could do more than I thought? (okay, that is, childbirth?). Who knows, but I signed up to run the Marine Corps Marathon a few months later. That was just this past fall - with a finish time of 4:26:19. Still can't believe it, still am super proud.

So, in the past decade I've: moved to Atlanta, gotten married, traveled all over the U.S., had two beautiful boys, become a stay at home mom, and run a marathon. By 2020 the boys will be teenager and tween, I'll be in my mid-40s, and still trying to figure out motherhood.

Maybe by then I'll have run another marathon, traveled more, gone back to work, or done something equally fabulous. Who knows. What I have done and learned since 1999/2000 is that I'm happier, healthier, and much more secure in who I am, what I do, and what I know.

Here's to another wonderful 10 years!