The First Time...

A friend and fellow blogger (but a REAL blogger, and a really good one at that!) asked fellow moms to talk about a "first" with our children. I couldn't think of anything at first, but then I did think of something: the first time I went out ALONE with James, my first born.

When James was born, I fell apart. Not just out of joy. Out of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, hormones, who knows. So even though I slowly adjusted to motherhood with time and medication (thank you Zoloft), I was still VERY nervous to go ANYWHERE with my extremely fragile, made of glass baby. So for the first few weeks of James's life I only went to the pediatrician. That's it. I stayed at home inside my house for several weeks.

I decided that this wouldn't do. I am too much of a social person and needed to get out. The "old me" was still there, I just needed to remind myself of that. So I challenged myself to leave the house ALONE with the baby on his one month birthday. That's right, one month old.

And guess where I went? Giant. And all I was going to buy was diapers. Giant is less than a mile from my house. I had a fully stocked diaper bag. The stroller was ready to go. The baby was sleeping, for God's sake. And my heart was racing.

I get to Giant, unloaded James and his car seat. I decided that putting his infant car seat in the back of the cart was the best move. I got the diapers and got in line. Of course, that very afternoon, at that very time, Giant decided to have just one lane open and in front of me was a weekly shopper. Oh, gosh.

While waiting, my worst nightmare came true. James started crying. Then screaming. I was in line, checking out, sweating, hoping it would all just go faster and faster. Then, the helpful woman behind me, with her daughter, says, "You know, I used to put the car seat on the dryer, that would calm them down."

I was too sweaty to be a smartass but all I wanted to say was, "Do you SEE a dryer around here? At the grocery store??".

Needless to say, I sort of said, "Oh, ha ha", got to the car, drove home, got inside, and quickly nursed James back to sleep.

It wasn't pretty, but the band aid was off.